Posted by Sam on May 16, 2008 at 08:52 AM UTC - 5 hrs
I like email. It has so many advantages: The asynchronous nature means I can respond when I have time and you can do the same. I don't have to face you, so its easier to relate unpleasantries. I can take as much time to carefully craft my words as I need. I can say just the right thing. The list could get longer.
A lot of us really like computers more than we like people. We prefer IM or IRC to picking up the phone, and we prefer email over face-to-face conversation. Be honest, you'd rather be talking to Johnny 5 than Homo sapiens.
The problem is that most of the rest of the world doesn't share your distaste for people, and neither would you if you were depending on the person who chose not to communicate on a personal level. To put a similar amount of information in an email as you could get in one RL conversation could take tens of minutes to write (and subsequently read) compared to just a couple of minutes.
Just like Johnny 5, humans need "more input, more input!"
As Chad Fowler notes in the "Being Present" chapter of My Job Went To India, business is personal. The bonds you form (or don't form) with your boss and coworkers affect how they treat and react to you. As he writes on page 131,
The natural work mode of a computer person is to hole up in a cubicle or office, put on a pair of headphones, and get into "the zone" until it's time to eat. Douglas Coupland, in his book Microserfs tells the entertaining story of a team having to buy flat food to slide under the office door of a programmer on a mission. This kind of isolation has become part of the culture and folklore of the software industry.
Unfortunately, speaking for your career, this is bad for business. If you're locked up in an office, accessible only by phone (if you answer) or e-mail, perhaps even working all hours of the night and sleeping late as a result, there's no difference between you being onsite with your bosses and your customers and being offshore. [Bold emphasis mine.]
No difference, except you probably get paid more. So how valuable are you then?
You are on-site and that puts you at an advantage. Use it. As I mentioned above, if the tables were turned - if you were depending on someone else - you'd not likely feel like a few short emails will suffice for communication.
From my own recent experience, I can certainly say that's how I've felt. In this case, I'm the customer forking the money over to my home builder. When we first met, he said he preferred communicating mostly through email. I thought to myself, "great, I won't have to call him or meet with him all the time."
That quickly changed as I noticed problems with the house. I wanted vocal reassurances. I wanted face-to-face meetings so I could express my displeasure with the tile not matching without coming across like a jackass in email. I wanted to know when problems would be fixed - not just "I'll fix them" with no progress seen over two months. A simple, "We fix that kind of stuff at the end" would have gone miles. Sadly, I've only met with the builder a couple of times and spoke on the phone even less.
I'm completely uncomfortable with the situation. I feel out of control. I want to know what's going on and how we're going to fix the problems. But I get no reassurance - at least not as quickly as I'd like it.
Now I know how my customers and coworkers and bosses feel when they don't get anything but short emails from me. They have queasy stomachs and feel sick. Hopefully, I won't let them feel like that again.
What do you think?
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Last modified on May 16, 2008 at 08:55 AM UTC - 5 hrs
When my parents were building their first house 20+ years ago, my dad visited the building site daily. He took pictures, and brought up any questions immediately, whether something was obviously wrong or just seemingly incorrect.
In those days it was a phone call, or meeting the builder in his office or on site.
Posted by grant
on May 16, 2008 at 10:25 AM UTC - 5 hrs
@sammy, i enjoy your posts in relating to others. i believe i am pretty good at this for the most part, but i know where i have some major weaknesses.
i am a customer first type of person. when i first started reading your blog, i questioned a lot of things you wrote about time management and saying no. to some degree i agree, but you have to know when to say no.
i have a couple of thousand users on my internal corp app. i have a couple hundred that are concentrated at our 6 major sites. i've visited all of those sites, spoken with them about requirements, how they perform their job, and why things are important to them. this is great, and a starting point for anyone. i honestly don't know what i would do if i had a project i wasn't able to have those key communications. i can work off of a document, but i don't really know if i've got it right until its to late.
Like I said, that's a starting point. If you really want to open up the communication lines, then you should get to know the person. I always try to find out how i can relate to someone. If I know someone is interested in something, I will listen for stuff surrounding that subject just to build a relationship. i talk about family, sports, gripes about the job, whatever builds a bond with my customer.
why do i do this? why do i want them know who i am? well thats simple. if some guy walks up to you on the street and asks you to hold his drink for you while he goes into a store (bad analogy i know), what do you do? you either keep walking, create a cheap alternative or you hold the drink and hate every moment of it. what if you knew and liked the person, how would you react? chances are you would be much more willing to satisfy their need.
relationships build trust and loyalty. if i have a problem my users are always kind and courteous. i don't think its because they are all kind and courteous. its because they know the names of my children, i recognize their voice when they call, they recognize mine. if i am having a system problem, my users are usually smiling and happy even though they can't do their work, or it takes a lot more steps. they are willing to do whatever it takes to ease the situation. in the end, this works to my advantage. my boss never receives any nasty-grams. we stay factual in all communications, and never get into the mud-slinging that i see in other systems. i attribute all of this to knowing my users, and really being a part of their life, and not someone they have to deal with. i go out of my way to get rid of all unpleasantries. if they don't understand something i keep explaining until they do.
sorry for the large post of ramblings.
Posted by shag
on May 20, 2008 at 11:52 AM UTC - 5 hrs
shag, no need for apologies. I really enjoy reading your stories, and you really hit the nail on the head as far as saying what I was trying to say. I think you did so in an easier to understand way. At the very least, you said it better than I could.
Thanks for adding to the discussion - I always appreciate it.
Posted by Sammy Larbi
on May 21, 2008 at 08:08 AM UTC - 5 hrs
grant - thanks for the reassuring words =). I'll certainly do a better job of communicating my own expectations up front (now that I know what they'll be) next time I decide to build a house.
Posted by Sammy Larbi
on May 21, 2008 at 08:11 AM UTC - 5 hrs
